


Someone Else In Mind

by toluene



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Telltale Series (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, M/M, i'm looking at you too alfred, mostly angst, this is bruce we're talking about here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-20 03:25:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13138083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toluene/pseuds/toluene
Summary: Alfred has a talk with Bruce about Selina, but it doesn’t go where either of them expect it.





	Someone Else In Mind

Here it was again. The conversation—though to call it a conversation would be too generous a word for it on most occasions. Most of the time it was never even verbalized. Bruce would see indications of it sent in concerned glances and silent frowns, or in the brief hesitations before Alfred would leave Bruce alone in an empty room. Every time it happened, Bruce did his best to ignore it—or dismiss it whenever Alfred actually found the courage to voice his thoughts.

This time, it was about Selina. And always, as in the past, Bruce’s response was the same.

“Alfred, you know I could never do that.” 

“Because you don’t _let_ yourself,” Alfred replied, but seemed to recognize it was useless to argue on that point. He sighed, picking up the tray of tea he had dropped moments earlier at the sight of Bruce and Selina’s struggle with the briefcase, then set the tray on an end table nearby. “I just don’t want to see you take on all your burdens alone when I can’t be the one to help carry them anymore,” he tried instead. “You know I won’t always be here to look after you.”

When Alfred spoke next his voice had softened, though it still held that paternal concern for Bruce that he had come to know so well after all these years. “Maybe Selina could have been the right person for that,” he said, voice saddening. “Do you really want to spend your entire life pushing others away?”

Maybe Alfred was right. Maybe he had been wrong not to put more trust in Selina this time around. He hadn’t meant for their meeting to end like it had, at the very least—although Selina hadn’t exactly made it easy on her part, either.

“She’s unpredictable, Alfred,” Bruce said, trying to sound as reasonable as he could. He knew this particular discussion was just as taxing on Alfred as it was on himself. “She’s betrayed my trust in the past, and made it clear from her recent decisions that she’d do it again in the future if it benefits her.”

Alfred didn’t appear to deny him on that point, at least. “Selina might not be the most reliable ally,” he conceded, “but she’s kept your secrets so far. And she clearly cares about you.”

Maybe Bruce should have brought Selina down to see the Batcave. Let Alfred assume he wasn’t always afraid of letting people in. That maybe someday he could have at least some semblance of a normal life. But then he would have to keep up that appearance, and it would be yet another falsehood to maintain, and he had enough of those to worry about at the moment. The damage had already been done, at any rate. Selina certainly wasn’t coming anywhere near the manor or himself again anytime soon.

“Maybe I already had someone else in mind.”

And there it was. Words he hadn’t meant to say aloud, words he’d hardly dared to think. It was a sentence that could lead the conversation into uncharted territory if Alfred was perceptive enough to pick up on who Bruce really meant. Already Alfred’s brow had wrinkled in thought as he tried to puzzle out just who this mystery person was.

“Tiffany, you mean?” he chanced with a frown, then continued when Bruce didn’t contradict him. “But she’s still a child. And while I agree she should know the truth about her father, I don’t think she should take over his role quite yet. It would be too dangerous, especially after what just happened to poor Lucius.”

Tiffany was a conversation Bruce would have to have another time with Alfred, though maybe it would be smarter to let Alfred think she was the one he was referring to this time around.

“Not Tiffany, Al.” _Would have_ been smarter, anyway.

“Then who?”

Instead of answering, Bruce walked slowly to the other side of the room, diverting his gaze to one of the large bay windows. He could still see Alfred reflected behind him in the glass, wearing the same concerned frown he’d had on since the start of their conversation.

“It doesn’t matter,” Bruce stated simply to the window. “It would never work out.”

But Alfred was better than to give up that easily.

“You can’t mean… Certainly not John?” When Bruce went silent again, Alfred’s eyes widened, and he stepped closer to Bruce. “He’s in love with a madwoman! And very likely mad himself!”

Bruce’s jaw tightened. He kept his eyes on the window, steeling his voice: “He _admires_ Batman. He even went behind Harley’s back for me. And I know he’s more intelligent than he lets on. He was able to bypass Lucius's safeguards with the E.M.P. device back at the hideout, after all.”

“All of which makes him even _more_ dangerous.”

Bruce knew Alfred was right—of course he was—but part of himself couldn’t help getting a little defensive at Alfred’s quick dismissal. “What if he just needs some direction, Al? He hasn’t had anyone good to look up to in the past. Maybe I can be that person.”

“And when he finds out you’ve been lying to him?”

“You mean when he finds out his best friend is also Batman,” Bruce countered quickly, then realized just what he had said. He swallowed, studying the window again, seeing his own eyes reflected back at him in the pane of glass. He didn’t know if he liked what he saw in them.

“Bruce...”

The challenge in his eyes faded, and he looked away from the window. “I know, Al. Like I said, it would never work out.”

“Do you… Do you care about him?” The words were cautious, as if Alfred already knew what the answer might be. Bruce should have expected a question like it, but hearing the words said aloud made him realize just how far down the rabbit hole he really was.

Part of himself wanted to say:

“Sometimes I don’t know what comes over me. I feel honest when I’m around him, and sometimes it’s so jarring that I can’t do anything but hide it under friendly pretenses, when I know it’s more than just that.

When I met him as Batman, I thought it would change things, but it didn’t. I couldn’t keep that distance. Since our first meeting, he’s crossed every barrier, and I’ve let him. The worst of it is that even though I’ve seen what he’s capable of in the past, seen glimpses of that other part of himself, I can’t let myself believe he’d ever lift a finger when it was anyone he truly cared about, and if it ever came to it, I don’t know if I ever could against him.

And that’s what frightens me the most—that I want to trust him. That I want him to trust me. That if given the chance, I’d do anything to protect him.”

He wanted to say all of those things, but it didn’t matter when he didn’t. Alfred had already read enough on his expression to know what Bruce’s true feelings were.

“Oh dear. Bruce, I… I’m sorry,” Alfred said. He stepped closer, lifting a hand to place on Bruce’s shoulder in what was no doubt meant to be a comforting manner.

Bruce stiffened at the contact, but resisted shrugging Alfred away. He had already hurt Alfred enough for one morning, so he allowed him this one small gesture, at least. Even so, when he saw the look in Alfred’s eyes, saw the sad understanding deepen the age-worn lines of his face, Bruce had to turn and look away from the only person he could still call family.

Then, when he could take it no longer: “Please Alfred, I’d just like to be left alone right now.”

Alfred’s grip weakened, and he pulled his hand away.

When he was gone, Bruce sighed, rubbing tiredly at his temples.

His thoughts went suddenly to the events from a year ago now, recalling the terror of Lady Arkham and all that had happened with Harvey and Oz. So much had changed during that time, not only in how he viewed the city but in how he viewed himself. Watching the downward spiral of his closest friend Harvey and the bitter estrangement of his childhood friend had been hard to witness, and his memories of it all still kept him awake at night more often than he liked to admit.

Harvey, Oz… he had lost them both despite how much he’d tried to prevent it. 

Maybe it was inevitable this time, too. Maybe it was only a matter of time before—

The buzz of his phone interrupted Bruce from falling into darker thoughts. 

It was a text from John.

_Hey buddy! There’s something I have to tell you about next time we meet. You’re really not going to believe it! But you have to keep it a secret._

Bruce hesitated. He suspected he knew what it might be about.

 _I can do that,_ he sent out after a minute. Then, with a few more types:  _Looking forward to it, John._

John responded almost immediately.

_I can’t wait! :D_

A minute later Bruce’s phone buzzed again with another message, this time with a photo attached.

_Seriously. This is BIG._

Beneath the words was the batarang Bruce had given him hours earlier, now held up in John’s hand. The man himself was beaming fearsomely next to it, bright eyes overflowing with a mixture of childlike excitement and admiration. 

Before meeting John, it was a sight Bruce never thought he’d see, let alone imagine.

It took Bruce a good long moment before he realized he was smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> couldn’t let it end on a down note, so I added some John and that fixed it
> 
> I'll probably write a continuation of my other fic some point, either set in ep 3 or later depending how it goes :)


End file.
